Shuichi's Secret
by Shizu-fan
Summary: Shuichi was kicked out again. This time for keeping his past a secret. Will Eiri understand why Shu didn't say anything? Mentions of rape and killing, so rated what it is.


**What's up? I had this thought in my head for a while now. My inspiration was a ShuichixTohma-or was it ShuichixRyuichi-fic that had Shuichi living in America before moving to Japan and becoming a musician. And he had two lovers at the same time before Yuki. I forget the name of the fic and the author. …So on to the story.**

**Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami. Inspiration came from another fic here on fanfiction. I just twisted some things to fit my needs.**

-Line Break-

Yuki sat there on his bed, just staring at the cover of the photo album. But not just any photo album. It was the brat's…no Shuichi's. Yuki had kicked the pinkette out again. And it wasn't for a stupid reason this time either. The kid lied to him.

Apparently, Yuki wasn't his first lover. He had one before him and never said anything. He also knew English; spoke it fluently and without any hint of an accent on live national television, when everyone thought he didn't know the language. It pissed the blonde off. Shuichi had berated him about not knowing about his lover's past. The kid should start doing what he preaches.

Before he left though, Shuichi had told him to look for something if he wanted to know about his past. The photo album that he was currently boring holes into now. He was torn. Yuki was curious and wanted to look through the past of the pink haired moppet, to find out why he lied…but then again, he wanted to stay mad at him for not saying anything.

Curiosity won out and he opened the cover. The first picture caused him to smile. It was of a woman who had the same amethyst eyes as his lover holding a baby boy in her arms in a hospital bed. Flipping the page, he let out a rare laugh at what he saw next. It was of the baby from before, though obviously bigger, on all fours moving for some unknown destination. What was funny about it was the path of destruction that was behind the infant, and a man with an exasperated look on his face running after it. So Shuichi had a destructive personality even as a baby.

Looking to the other page he was surprised. There sat the infant, now a toddler, with his face dirty from what he guessed to be an Oreo. But what caught his attention was the head of blonde hair the toddler had. The novelist knew Shuichi dyed his hair to that ungodly pink, but never knew what his true color was. He always wore a hat or something to cover his head when the dye started to fade every few months before dying it back. So to see a baby picture with him having blonde hair was a surprise.

Quickly getting over his shock, Eiri flipped through the rest of the book. Some pictures he laughed at, some he just shook his head at, thinking, '_Of course'_. Others he smiled fondly at. It was when he got to his lover's teen years that he was shocked again. In the picture was his then blonde lover of eleven years of age, in a soccer uniform, one foot on a soccer ball as he leaned on his outstretched knee with both arms. He played soccer? Turning the page, he found Shuichi in the same uniform, but dirtied and disheveled from playing hard, holding a trophy with a huge grin on his face.

After a few more pages, Eiri started to see a pattern with the soccer pictures. Every year Shuichi got older, that huge grin from the beginning dimmed until he quit smiling completely within what looked to be his sophomore year of high school. Every other picture that had nothing to so with soccer, there was a smiling or laughing boy. But when he saw a picture of him just holding a soccer ball, he had this apathetic face. Like he didn't enjoy playing anymore yet still kept trying out for the team.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt the bed dip. Snapping his gaze to the side, his eyes widened as he saw the lover he kicked out just a few hours ago. Shuichi's face was the same apathetic on from the pictures. Eiri took notice of the now strawberry blonde hair that sat on top of his head.

"I had a feeling that you would look through it," he stated quietly, his voice void of feelings, matching his expression. "I bet you're wondering why I stopped smiling in the soccer pictures, right?" Yuki nodded his head, unable to find his voice at the moment. "When I first started playing, it was fun. I got to be with my friends and my team kept winning cool looking trophies. But then my parents…more specifically my dad…somehow got the idea in his head that I would keep playing for the rest of my life. What made his thinking worse was that he was a soccer coach." Right there, Yuki started to get a sense of déjà vu. It sounded like **his** father wanting him to become a monk. Shuichi kept talking, lost in memories of the past.

"I tried to reason with him, but as I expected, he didn't listen to anything I said. It all went in one ear and out the other. So I moved out just before my twentieth birthday. Got an apartment that me and a friend decided to share and quit playing all together so I could focus on my true passion: music." Here Shuichi stopped talking. Looking over at him, Eiri saw an expression that he hoped to never see on his lover's face. That of pain, from a deeply rooted emotional wound that was obviously still healing. He got the feeling that he was going to start talking about his previous lover. He watched as Shu took a shuddering breath before continuing. "Over the next couple of months, me and my friend started getting…attached to one another. After a month or so of living together, we eventually started dating, and it quickly escalated. But it didn't work out like we wanted. We fought nearly all the time, some fights leading to us throwing punches at the other. One night it went too far. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what the argument was about for the life of me. The only thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital bed with some minor injuries…while my boyfriend was on life support."

His breathing was ragged at this point, tears streaming down the younger blonde's face. Eiri laid the photo album aside and pulled Shuichi into a comforting embrace. Now he understood. Shuichi was similar to him in more ways than one. Eiri **was nearly** raped as a teen; Shuichi **was** raped a couple years ago. Eiri **killed** the guy who tried to rape him; Shuichi **nearly** **killed** his best friend and boyfriend.

"It's alright," Eiri whispered into his ear, rubbing a hand up and down the boy's…no…man's back. After everything Shuichi's been through, he deserves to be called a man, not a boy or a brat, but a man, for this man in his arms was still living his life. Broken it may be, but still living it.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Eiri just holding Shuichi as the latter cried. After a while, Shuichi started to calm down. And he surprised Yuki when he started talking again. "After I was released from the hospital, I went back to the apartment, packed my bags and fled to Japan, my parent's home country. I couldn't face him after what happened. So I started a new life. Changed my name, my appearance… I even fudged my age and birthday. Went back to high school where I met Hiro and we became the band Bad Luck, and I became obsessed with Nittle Grasper. The rest you most likely know if you've been paying attention to my previous monologues."

Then he stopped talking, allowing the man he loved some time to sort through his thoughts. And Yuki did just that as his brain absorbed all of the information he just received. After what seemed like eternity to Shuichi when it was only a few minutes, Eiri spoke up with a question he couldn't find an answer to.

"You said you fudged your age," he started slowly, feeling the body in his arms freeze slightly. "By how much?" It was quiet for a while as the older blonde waited surprisingly patiently for an answer. If he hadn't been listening for a response, he would've missed the mumbling.

"…"

Eiri raised an eyebrow as he stared at his lover's head. "Sorry, but I couldn't hear that," he stated, slightly amused. "Would you repeat that please?"

It took a couple tries, but Shuichi eventually got his answer out. "…I'm older than you….." That shocked Eiri even though he figured as much. He was shocked even more when Shuichi put an actual age to his answer. "I'm really twenty-four." Shuichi buried his face into his lover's chest right then, afraid of his reaction to this piece of information.

"So you're a year older than me?" A nod was his answer. Yuki thought about this. That wasn't too bad. Just a year's difference. "That's honestly better that what I originally thought you age was." He watched as Shuichi looked up at him in shock, opened his mouth, then shut it. He repeated this until he found his voice.

"You're not mad?" he asked hesitantly. "About my whole secret identity thing?" Eiri let one of the smiles Shuichi rarely ever saw cross his face. Leaning down, the now younger blonde captured his elder's lips in a heated kiss that said it all. A few minutes later, he broke away and saw Shuichi's face flushed a scarlet red, breathing heavily. "I'll take that as a 'no' then?" he guessed quietly, voice laced with desire. A smirk wormed it's way on Eiri's face as he just kissed the strawberry blonde again, pushing him onto his back.

-Line Break-

**And that's all folks! Hope you enjoyed this little oneshot of mine! Please, R&R!**

**Ja ne!**

**Shizu-fan!**


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